All posts tagged: brene brown

The Anatomy of Trust

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Brené Brown, who is a researcher and best selling author whom I greatly admire, recently offered a free course called “The Anatomy of Trust”.  I decided to “take” it (it is online, link at bottom).  I found out some things about myself, and realized I have areas to work on, and areas to pat myself on the back.  But she breaks trust down using this definition, which I find really helpful: “Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”  (Charles Feltman) This is important, as we should give our complete trust to people who we feel can honor our vulnerability.  I only have a few friends and a husband who I can say fit all these criteria. And that is true of most people as you look at the acronym and think about who in your life you trust.  Do they meet these criteria? Here is how she breaks it down, using the acronym of BRAVING to define the components of when to trust someone and also …

Do you expect the impossible?

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I remember when I was newly married with three small boys, I was often frustrated when my husband didn’t do the things that I thought would really help me.  I expected a mind reader.  Guess what?  None of us, no matter how well we communicate, can read our partner’s minds.  One partner often has the stance “if he/she really loved me he’d know what I want”.  Well, if you’re in sync, and you have great communication that may happen more often, but it really isn’t fair.  As women or men we take BACK our power when we ask for what we need.  Yes, we empower ourselves and we strengthen our partnerships.  Anger destroys trust, goodwill and any strengthening.  You might feel vindicated, but it gets you only momentary relief.  And the relationship worsens.  Ask yourself “what do I want here?” Here’s a specific example of what I mean:  (insert any common request/need into the parenthesis) “It would really help me tonight if you’d (give the kids their baths, read bedtime stories, take Jimmy to soccer).  …